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We all recognize that soccer is a very passionate game -
for players and fans.
We
all want our sons and daughters to play, to play hard, to play well, and
have fun. We want them to be well coached, play on a team that is
competitive in their category, and benefit in a host of ways from being
involved in competitive athletics.
Yet we, as parents, can sometimes undercut how much fun our kids have,
and how much they will actually benefit by and through our behavior,
especially during games.

Things to Keep in Mind While Watching from the Sidelines:
1.
Let the coaches' coach. If you are telling your son or daughter - or any
other player for that matter - to do something different from what their
coach is telling them, you create distraction and confusion.
2.
It is very unnerving for many young players to try and perform difficult
tasks on the field on the spur of the moment when parents are yelling at
them from the sidelines. Let the kids play. If they have been well
coached, they should know what to do on the field. If they make a
mistake, chances are they will learn from it.
3.
Do your level best not to complain about your son or daughter's coaches
to other parents. Once that starts, it is like a disease that spreads.
Before you know it, parents are talking constantly in a negative way
behind a coach's back. (As an aside, if you have what you truly feel is
a legitimate beef with your child's coach - either regarding game
strategy or playing time, arrange an appointment to meet privately, away
from a soccer field.)
4.
Make positive comments from the sideline. Be encouraging. Young athletes
do not need to be reminded constantly about their perceived errors or
mistakes. Their coaches will instruct them, either during the game or at
half-time, and during practices. You can often see a young player make
that extra effort when they hear encouraging words from the sideline
about their hustle.
5.
Avoid making any negative comments about players on either team.
6.
What is the easiest thing to do in the youth sports world? Criticize the
referees. Oh, there are times when calls are missed, absolutely. And
that can, unfortunately, directly affect the outcome of a contest. That
said, by and large those who officiate at youth soccer games are hardly
over-compensated, and give it an honest - and often quite competent -
effort. At worst, they at least try to be fair and objective.
7.
Outbursts from parents on the sideline made toward the referees only
signal to our children on the field that they can blame the refs for
anything that goes wrong. Blaming others is not a formula for success in
sports.
8.
Yelling out comments such as "Good call, ref" or "Thanks ref" may only
serve to alienate an official. The ref always assumes they made the
proper call, that's why they made it. Trying to show superficial support
because the call went 'your' way is simply annoying to the officials,
and to anyone within earshot.
9.
Walking up and down all game long along the sidelines, following the
play, is unnerving to players and totally unnecessary- particularly so
if you are trying to yell out instructions to various players, including
your own son or daughter. It is likely embarrassing to the
player/players involved and simply counterproductive. If you want to
coach, obtain your coaching certification and then apply for a job.
10. We all feel things and are apt to be tempted to say things in the
'heat of the moment'. But we don't excuse athletes for doing
inappropriate things in the 'heat of the moment' (there are penalties,
suspensions, etc.) so we should apply similar standards to our own
sideline behavior.
11. The parking lot is not the time to 'fan the flames'. Whether it is a
coach's decision, a referee's call, a comment that was made, let it go.
Don't harass the coach, or an official, or a parent on the other team
after the game is over. Go home, relax, and unwind. Talk positively with
your child. The ride home is sometimes as important as the game itself.
Make that time a good memory for your son or daughter by discussing as
many positives as you can about him/her, her coach, her teammates, etc.
- Michael Langlois is the author of How Well Do You Communicate?
A Guide to Better Communication with Players and Parents for Youth
Soccer Coaches
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